End of the War
by carter.emily
Summary: Emmeline Vance's reaction to the end of the first wizarding war. This is slightly colored by the fact it was designed around a role play account. Reviews are welcome.


Minerva McGonagall had come and told her earlier that day, and Emmeline Vance had barely moved from her spot since she left.

Sure, she had heard the rumors that James and Lily had been killed by Lord Voldemort at some point the night before, but she… she had thought that it was impossible. Lily and James… she'd watched their courtship, been to their wedding, was there with them when Harry was born and fought beside them in the battles.

On top of everyone else that they had lost, they lost Lily and James and then finding out that Sirius was the one responsible for Voldemort finding them and then killing Peter and those twelve Muggles… after everything that Emmeline had seen over the years, even from Sirius, she hadn't thought that it would be possible… it had to be impossible, a mistake. A stupid mistake.

But it wasn't.

Marlene. Sirius. Doe. Gideon. Fabian. Lily. James. Alice. Frank. Peter. Mary.

Gods. They were all gone.

Emmeline buried her face in her hands, not sure what to do anymore. She couldn't leave her flat. Not yet, everyone would be celebrating the end of the war and she could barely breathe.

Her best friends. They had been through so much, just in the last year… but everything before then, everything in school. To Emmeline, they were so much more than just friends, they were her family, and without them, the world seemed so empty.

In the back of her mind, she knew that she still had Remus out there somewhere; but would Remus really be the same after losing his best friends and Mary? After losing everyone but her? Emmeline didn't even know if she would be able to ever be the same, or even close to the same girl that she was back in Hogwarts, back before she joined the Order and tossed all other thoughts aside of happiness and a career in order to make sure that her friends and her family would be protect.

Fat lot of good it did her.

They were dead or would never be able to recognize her again.

Emmeline stood up, stumbling to her Muggle refrigerator and freezer combination and throwing the freezer open, snatching a bottle of Muggle alcohol (vodka, her particular poison these days, it went down smoother than Firewhiskey and didn't have any memories of Gideon, and no memories of kissing Remus). She slammed the door shut, screwing the lid off of the bottle and taking a large swig of the clear liquid, enjoying the knowledge that she would soon feel her body begin to numb.

It wasn't just her heart that ached with the knowledge that she was practically alone in this world now, having cut ties with her family for their safety the moment she finished schooling in Hogwarts. Her entire body ached.

Holding the neck of the bottle, Emmeline did the next best thing other than seeing her best friend, Mary Macdonald: She apparated to what was still considered to be her apartment. When she arrived in the dark apartment, she felt like her best friend was there with her; something that Emmeline needed for the moment. Something that she had been needing in the weeks since Mary's death.

"Mary… I just…" Emmeline said, tears forming in her eyes as she took the opportunity to put the bottle up to her lips again and take another swig of the liquid, the burning feeling slightly less than it was before. "I can't believe that you're not _here_," she cried. "I can't believe that they…" she started, her voice breaking as tears fell down her cheeks, a strangled cry escaping her throat as she collapsed onto the couch, a couch that the pair had spent many nights talking about what they would do once the war was over. Oh god… the plans that they'd made.

"It was Sirius," she said quietly. "He was the one that betrayed us, the one that… that betrayed James and Lily," she said, setting the bottle down on the floor next to her feet. "They're _dead_, Mary!" she cried. "Dead! I don't know what to do!" she said, dropping her face into her hands. "Everyone's dead but Remus and I, and I just… I don't know how to reach him, that was you, you were the one that could talk sense into him. You and Sirius. I don't know what to do," she said pathetically, not sure what else to do or what else to say to her friend. "Why couldn't we have saved everyone," she said.

"Why couldn't Sirius have just _stayed_ with us? You wouldn't have died. They wouldn't have died!" She screamed, passed the point of rational. "I miss my best friend," she whispered, curling up on the couch and crying, just wanting someone to magically show up, pun not intended. She wrapped her fingers around the bottle that she'd set on the ground, taking yet another swig from it. "I'm going to regret drinking in the morning, Mar, but I just… don't want to feel your losses tonight. Just one night," she whispered, setting the bottle down and crying herself to sleep for the first time since she joined the war, for the first time for every one of her friends, and for the future that she had ripped away from her.


End file.
